Archive : 2021

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Christian Walk, Dreaming, Following Jesus

Following the Trailmarkers

“Then the Lord replied: “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it.” -Habakkuk 2:2

I have been a proponent of writing down the revelation (i.e. dreams) for many years. Yet, sometimes I forget to look back on those dreams so that I may run with that revelation. Writing down your dreams is a good way to practice obedience. It also shows a willingness to listen to these secrets in the night, and is a valuable resource for running our race with endurance. We are called to be good stewards of our finances and to use them wisely. We are also called to be good stewards of the revelations, words of wisdom, and dreams that God speaks to us. But why? What is the purpose of writing these things down?

Wait for It

Often dreams are not literal, and at least in my experience dreams need time to incubate. The exception to this is warning dreams, which typically speak to something more immediate. It is prudent to seek out the meaning and pay attention to these dreams. For the purpose here I am not referring to warning dreams, that is a post all on its own!

When God gives this revelation to Habakkuk it is more long-term in nature. God is speaking of what is to come, meaning, this won’t happen right away. As you wait for it, you will face discouragement. Writing down the revelation so you can look back on it will prove to be a valuable source of encouragement in the wait. Right after God tells Habakkuk to write down the vision in verse 2, verse 3 says;

“For the revelation awaits for an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it tarry (or take longer than you want), wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.” -Habakkuk 2:3

Delay is a Gift

Our idea of delay and God’s idea of delay are two very different things! His timing is different than ours and He knows we tend to be impatient and have memory problems. Waiting for His timing brings joy and excitement that is indescribable. Our family is embarking on a dream journey with God that I am still waiting to see the fulfillment of. I’m starting to see glimpses of the fulfillment and it’s exhilarating! In his book, Dream, Mark Rutland has this to say about the waiting time in dreaming:

“The delay, common to dreamers, from dream to fulfillment can be absolutely excruciating. No spiritual discipline is as taxing or, for that matter, so close to the heart of holiness as waiting, but that does not mean it is a pleasant experience. That very season of delay which we find so distasteful, may, however, be crucial to the plan and purpose of God. Such delays give God time to prepare us for the opportunity and the opportunity for us. While we wait, God is working to remove obstacles before us, which if allowed to remain, would hinder or limit the dream.”

Mark Rutland, Dream

God’s timing is absolutely vital in these dreams becoming reality. Have you ever stopped to consider the concept that while you are waiting, God is not only preparing YOU, but He is preparing the opportunity that you will step into. His timing is impeccable!
Not the greatest picture, but this is a great example of how we can feel in the middle of the wait. When everything looks like delay and we wonder if we’ll ever see the promised vision. In this case, the trail was long and difficult, but there was a promise of a gorgeous waterfall so I trudged on, even though at this point I wanted nothing more than to turn back.

Trail Markers

Being a good steward of dreams can look a lot like hurry up and wait. Dreams can fade from our memory quickly, and we have to develop a habit of writing them down in those few moments after we awake. Often, details like colors, numbers, and people’s names can have a very specific meaning. Yet in my experience, those are the first things to fade from my memory after I wake up. Being diligent to write down the dream is one way to be a good steward. I’ve found the dreams I write down have been like guideposts in this journey with Jesus that I am on.

If you’ve ever been hiking you know just how important a well-marked trail is. When you’re on a trail sometimes suddenly you have no idea where the trail began or where it’s going. My walk with God feels like this at times. I’m so thankful for the trail markers He gives me along the way. His word is the best trail marker, but there are also other markers such as dreams, visions, words of wisdom from other believers, even signs in the heavens, and confirmations that are given through people and experiences. These “trail markers” bring encouragement when the trail is long. In following Jesus on this trail of life, looking back on dreams gives me strength and endurance to keep moving forward.

Looking Back Brings Strength

What we see is like looking at only one piece of the puzzle. God has a higher vantage point and can see the whole picture. This week I was looking back on some dreams I have had in the past two years. When I discovered that I lived out portions of a dream I had back in October it gave me such encouragement. I had completely forgotten about this particular dream, but Oh how glad I am that I wrote it down!

When I went back to re-read it, God used that dream and my experience this week to breathe fresh air into my dreaming heart. It was the encouragement I needed to continue following Him on this trail. The hardest climbs often result in the greatest view. So keep climbing! Keep chasing those dreams, and write it down so that you can run with endurance because the trail is often longer with more twists and turns than we think it will have, but the view from the top is worth it.

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Adoption, Dreaming, Identity, Motherhood, Purpose, Racial Healing

Wokeness has Invaded Adoption

This is what holding a harvest of joy looks like. You can’t see in my face all the emotions that come into play here. I was exhausted after waiting years for our Hadassah to join our family. I had carried this dream in my heart for roughly 10 years before she was born. Have you ever been pregnant with a dream for a decade? It’s exhausting to keep hoping, praying, and never give up even when it looks hopeless. In this moment the Lord spoke to me, “it’s all worth it.” This is the face of joy, peace, and love. This daughter I had seen in my dreams for years and had wondered if she would look like that, I was now holding. Her heart beating next to mine. This is what fulfilled promise looks like.

I found out today that one of the largest adoption agencies in our nation, Bethany Christian Services, the agency that completed our home study, now wants to make this kind of adoption a thing of the past. Essentially they have bowed to the “woke” culture and decided it would be better for black children to languish in foster care waiting for a black family to adopt them than to be placed in the loving home of a white mom and dad. I’m not even mad about this development. I should be furious, instead, I’m incredibly sad. A sense of deep, gut-wrenching sadness washed over me at this news. Our home study agency, the one that wrote such amazing things about our family and our ability to care for our children has now decided that black children should not be raised by white parents.

God Places the Lonely in Families

When I read this story in Newsweek today (which I will link in the comments). My heart sank. Immediately I thought of the many biracial families I know personally. Many of them are white Momma’s and Daddy’s who have welcomed black children into their home. I’ve seen with my own eyes these children grow and thrive in the love and care of their white mom and dad. Psalm 68:6 says, “God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.” How we’ve seen this lived out in our own family! In God’s eyes, we are all His precious children. God has built our family and I am thankful for the kaleidoscope of colors in each of my children. How boring it would be if we were all exact copies of each other!

My verse while waiting for Hadassah was Psalm 126:5-6 Those who sow in tears WILL reap a Harvest of Joy. (paraphrase mine). God showed me her face in dreams multiple times, and years before she was born. Don’t tell me for a second that it’s a mistake she is part of our family! Her birth mom chose us to raise her, but long before she was even conceived God choose us to be her parents. He prepared our hearts and even gave me glimpses of what she would look like to confirm His promises. Now, this agency which holds the keys for many families in their adoption journey is closing those doors. It’s a shame to base adoption on race in any way! The needs of the child and if possible the wishes of the birth mother should be the #1 factor in adoption decisions.

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Christian Walk, Following Jesus, Freedom in Christ, Uncategorized

Get Oil and Take Flight

Be like a duck. This is something I’ve taught my children from a very young age. I realized this week it’s something I wasn’t doing myself. Ducks live in the water, and in the sky. They are a bird that swims but also flies. They have a special oil on their feathers that prevents water from absorbing and weighing them down. This oil is a protection for the bird, as there are many more dangers to them on the ground and in the pond than there are in the sky. They need the ability to take flight at a moment’s notice!


When I tell my children to be like a duck I mean, be sure to daily coat yourself in the oil of joy that comes from God. The oil comes from spending time daily in His Word and building your own personal relationship with Him through prayer and worship. Keep your lamps full, and your feathers coated so when it’s time to take off, you are not weighed down by the things of this world and you can fly wherever God is calling you. I’ve been telling my children this for years, but this week I realized I haven’t been doing this consistently. I’ve let the murk and yuck from the world seep in and weigh down my own feathers. This question began to echo in my mind, “How can I teach them to fly, if I’m so weighed down, that I can’t get off the ground?”

Be Set Apart

I’m talking metaphorically of course. I”m not actually flying in the sky, but when it comes to following Jesus and going where He has called, we have to keep our mind, will, and emotions light. Following Jesus requires us to stay somewhat unattached to the world so we can say Yes to Him when he calls. Like the disciples who dropped their fishing nets and followed when He called to them. We too must be willing to leave some things behind in order to step into our destiny and become fishers of men. How do we do this? How do we live in the world, but not be of the world as scripture warns us in Romans 12:2.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–His good, pleasing and perfect will.”


We live in this world, but we don’t have to look like this world. We are called to be, set apart from the world. It is easy to let the hurts, disappointments, and temptations of this world soak in and weigh us down. We need the protective oil coating us so we have take flight. This is our home (for now) and it is hard to live here and keep a Heavenly perspective. We live with broken people in a broken world in need of Jesus, but if we don’t keep our feathers coated with oil the yuck and sin will weigh us down and prevent us from flying.

Let it Roll

Ducks live in ponds, that are not always the cleanest of water. It can be murky, dirty, have trash floating in it, and ducks will swim there. But they don’t let that murky water soak in. It rolls off their backs allowing them to fly at a moment’s notice. When I talk to my kids and tell them to be like ducks and let the water roll off, most of the time it’s in reference to an offense. Often, our first response when unkind words are spoken is to take offense. We can’t take flight if we’re heavy from holding offense in our hearts. It will lead to anger and bitterness over time. What we need, and even more exciting, what God desires for us, is that we will be light and free. Not held back by the bondage of sin, hurt, bitterness, and offense.

It’s not as hard as you may think to dry off your feathers, apply oil, and prepare to take flight, but it does take acknowledging that there is a problem. SO shake off that murky water, dry your feathers, and get ready to take flight! Soar into what God created you to do. Get that good protective oil. Apply it to the feathers of your heart, and soar!

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Calling, Christian Walk, Following Jesus, Uncategorized

Leaning into Rest

Rest. The word conjures up many ideas and pictures of what rest looks like. It is different for everyone. What do you think of when you hear the word? Lounging on a beach? Is it a quiet walk in the woods just listening to the sounds of nature? Taking a nap in a boat? Stealing away to a quiet place with a book? Swinging in a hammock? These are all excellent ways to rest.

If we look at scripture as our sure foundation and Jesus as our teacher we don’t have to look very hard to find times when even He rested. Jesus was often stealing away to “quiet places”. He would slip away from the crowds after preaching and healing the people. One time in particular He took a nap in a boat. In that instance, He was in such a place of rest, that even when a mighty storm blew in, it did not wake Him. Oh to find that kind of rest!

Resting During the Storm

In Matthew 8:23-27, we see the benefit of rest, AND how to rest well even in the midst of great turmoil. In this story, Jesus has gotten into a boat with His disciples after preaching the gospel and healing many. Serving in ministry can be quite exhausting.

My husband and I lead a Pro-life Prayer ministry called Bound4LIFE. Once a month we host a prayer meeting, which I lead. Every month when I leave that meeting I am full of joy, yet exhausted. This is not a worn-out kind of tired because I didn’t want to be there leading the meeting. I leave feeling fulfilled and exhilarated, yet tired because I gave it my all. I imagine it was this kind of tiredness that Jesus was feeling after a long day of preaching and healing the sick.

The verse says they got into the boat and “suddenly” a great storm arose on the water. The very next verse says, “BUT Jesus was sleeping.” To have fallen into such a deep sleep so quickly after getting onto the boat and not waking when the storm started raging, He must have been tired. Well, that and Jesus understood REST! He knew how necessary rest is, but also how to rest well because He knew who His father was and He knew that He could trust Him.

The disciples obviously did not know this kind of rest, not yet. The very first thing they say to rouse Him is, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” These men are experienced fishermen. They have been out in boats on this lake many times and I”m sure have seen their fair share of storms. Yet, this one was enough to make them think they wouldn’t make it out alive. In the end, Jesus calms the storm and they are amazed.

I’ve always heard this passage taught from the perspective of Jesus calming the storm, but the more I look into it the more I see another perspective. When you look at it from Jesus’ perspective it looks a lot more like a lesson on rest. Yes, Jesus calmed the storm, but in my opinion, He did something more for those men that day. He saved them from drowning that day, and He taught them how to rest. Jesus was teaching His disciples that it doesn’t matter what storm may be swirling around you, rest.

It is in our nature to fight the storms. When I face a storm I immediately go into problem-solving mode. I try to figure my way out. I usually end up beaten down, exhausted, and burnt out by the end. Sometimes I even get to the point where I feel disillusioned with God and ask where He was and why He didn’t break in and make it stop. I Expect Jesus to calm every storm as soon as it starts even as I”m trying to make it stop on my own. Jesus still calms storms, but sometimes we have to rest in the boat as it’s being tossed about.

Burnt Out and Exhausted

Just because Jesus CAN calm storms, doesn’t mean He will calm them in our time table. His ways are not our ways and we don’t always see the whole picture. Not trusting God or leaning into His rest has brought me to a place of feeling weak, and burnt out. This recently came to the forefront during a cry session I was having with my husband. I was lamenting how very tired I was after years of intercession for our nation.

I’m looking at what with human eyes looks to be a steep and steady moral decline in our nation. The destruction of the traditional family, the roles of male and female, and even gender itself. Not to mention the injustices of abortion and human trafficking. In the midst of this little vent session, I told him I didn’t know if I could keep doing this. This standing as an intercessor for the nation. Asking God to come in with mercy and heal our land. I told him I was tired and didn’t think I could stand. I was ready to lay this assignment down. To tell God, sorry, I can’t anymore. Find someone else to carry this burden. I’m done.

My husband is very logical and most of the time when I’m crying about something I just want listening ears, not for him to “fix it”. But, in this case, he offered a solution that stopped me in my tracks and I actually said, “Oh, I never thought of that.” He simply said, “Then rest.” What a simple, yet complicated solution.

I’ve been warring hard for a decade-plus hoping for a shift in our nation towards righteousness. There have been glimpses, but they always seem to fall short of a full turn. I’ve put all the pressure on myself to turn this ship, and I’ve forgotten how to rest in Him. The God we serve is so good! And He is always faithful. While He delights in partnering with us as intercessors, ultimately He is still in control. We can and should engage, but we can not forget to rest in Him.

Learning How to Rest

Isaiah 40:29-31 has brought me comfort and a game plan in this season as I’m learning how to rest.

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; BUT those who hope in the Lord WILL renew their strength. They WILL soar like eagles; they WILL run and not grow weary, they WILL walk and not faint.” (Emphasis mine)

Even youths grow tired. What a relief! So it’s not simply from age. But here’s the promise, as we lean into Him, and REST, He WILL renew our strength. I don’t know about you, but I need my strength renewed. I need to soar like an eagle and run without getting tired.

These things can not be accomplished by my sheer will to keep going. They are only accomplished when I hope in the Lord. I must remain connected to Him, my ability to run and do all that He has called me to relies on that fact. I will be starting the new year from a place of rest. And as I learn to shift my perspective I will see that even though the storm rages and Jesus can and does calm storms, I can also have peace DURING the storm as long as I keep my eyes fixed on Him.

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Following Jesus, Identity, Purpose, Uncategorized

Out with the Old, In with the New

Today we begin a new year. A lot could be said about 2020, a few words to describe it are challenging, hard, difficult, sad, joyful, slow, and full of breakthrough. The word “breakthrough” may not seem like it fits in that list, but it does! And Here’s why; before 2020 even began, I felt the need to ask for encouragement from the Lord. I am glad I did. Prior to December of 2019 I had never asked God for a “word for the new year”. I was soon to find out, this was the year I would need one! I am thankful I had this phrase throughout 2020 because it became a sure foundation during the many times I felt like I was on shaky ground. This phrase and the scripture that went with it brought me through many trying seasons throughout the year.

Impossible Breakthrough

My theme for 2020 was The year of Impossible Breakthrough. My idea of what this would look like was a lot different than what reality had in store for the year. To start, In December of 2019, I turned 40. It’s a big milestone in life to have reached 40, and it felt hugely significant to me. There are several Biblical examples of great change and breakthroughs coming to pass after a period of forty days or even forty years! So naturally, I felt God was speaking of this type of breakthrough. After Moses led the Israelites through the wilderness for 40 years, they crossed over into the promised land. In many ways, I was expecting this kind of breakthrough moment this year. Although there were some big victories and hard-fought battles won in prayer during 2020. It was not the kind of overwhelming breakthrough I was hoping for.

2020 was challenging and stretched me in numerous ways. Change seemed to be the only constant throughout the year. Even little things upset my apple cart. Like the time Wal-Mart changed their store hours, and I felt like I had been betrayed by a trusted friend. Wal-Mart had always been there, even if it was the middle of the night, but not anymore. Now they closed at 8:00 pm and if I needed something at 9:00 I would have to wait until morning. How could they do this to me? What if I need something after I put the kids in bed? Now what? Now what? became the question of the hour for much of 2020. This year was full of shifting and changes. I was looking forward to a crossing over into a promise, instead, I kept changing course and turning in what felt like endless circles.

Shift

An unwillingness to bend and embrace change stunted my growth for much of 2020. Every time things did not go as planned I was ready to throw the whole planner in the trash. Thankfully, I restrained myself. I have no idea what 2021 has in store. But I know this, God is faithful to His promises and He keeps His word. I may interpret His word incorrectly, or get impatient and think that things should happen in my timing. This is a fault in me, not Him. If I’ve learned anything in 2020 it is that I place far too much trust in myself, and not enough in almighty God.

What are you carrying into 2021? I highly recommend spending some time this month asking and seeking God about what your word or phrase and accompanying scripture is for you this year. One year ago I had no idea how much benefit this can provide. Today I can say with certainty, you need to know what the word of the Lord is for YOU, for this year. I wish I had a magic formula or a worksheet to make it easy. I don’t, and that’s because this is a highly personal time between you and God. There are times we just need to be still and allow the Holy Spirit to speak to us. This revelation can come through a passage of scripture, a dream, or through a message from your pastor on Sunday morning. After you receive it, ask God to confirm it through another source. What God speaks will always align with His word. He will not contradict Himself.

Crossing Over

This is what I’m carrying into 2021:

Trust in God’s faithfulness.

He has been faithful

He will be faithful.

I waver and waffle. I get disappointed and easily give up. My thoughts and emotions deceive me and can not be trusted. I must lean into and trust in God alone! He must be my rock.

Here’s to a new year with fulfilled promises. My promise from God for 2021 is: this is the year of fulfilled promises. I am placing no other requirements on the year, or on God (as if I could make such demands). He makes promises and He fulfills His promises. 2021 is the year of fulfilled promises. Whatever promises He chooses to fulfill. And therein lies the difference. Although, it looks subtle on the surface, when you look deeper this is a huge shift. I am choosing to trust in God and not myself.

As we transition into a new year, I will be spending the month of January focusing on resting and leaning on my beloved. 2020 has left me tired. My natural response is to deny that and fight it. What I’m learning is that He is the only one who can restore and refresh. Admitting I need Him to restore and refresh is foundational to everything else I am called to do and accomplish this year. So, Happy New Year! Go in the confidence you can only have as a child of the Most High!

Here are some of the scriptures I”m leaning on in this New Year for encouragement and refreshing, I pray you are blessed and encouraged by them as well.

Rest: Isaiah 40:26-31, Isaiah 41: 1,10, and 17-18

Then,

Run: Hebrews 12:1-3 This year I’m asking God to help me become a “long distance runner” …….Stay tuned, More on this in the next blog.

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